Swing Life Away
by Jay A. Angelin
Summary: Sirius must face the truth behind Regulus' death. Myrna spent her entire life knowing she gave up her one chance. Severus will always have a hardened heart but will he be able to comfort the one person that was there for him? SB/OC SS/OC RAB/OC HET
1. Deep Wounds Are Hard To Heal

_This fan fiction does not, in any way, profit from the Harry Potter Series and creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator JK Rowling._

**Swing Life Away**

**Chapter One****  
****"Deep Wounds Are Hard to Heal"**

Myrna's cloak swept noiselessly above the floor, and she hurriedly closed the front door without a sound. She followed the dark figure before her, as this was her first time there under these new circumstances. The hallway was dark, dirty, and unnaturally quiet. She already knew the house had belonged to a very old pure-blood family. As the black haired man opened a door off to the right, a streak of light broke the darkness across the floor. She looked up the familiar banister to find a group of nosey teenagers gathered about interested in the new visitor. She followed her traveling companion through the door which he held open waiting and they quickly took a standing position in a corner but in view of the proceedings.

"Aw, good evening," said the all too familiar happy tone from the older wizard in the front of the room. His face was lined with age and worry, but his eyes were very happy and alive.

Myrna's eyes couldn't help it, as much as she had told herself not to, she did it anyway. She looked at Sirius Black sitting in between two other adults. Here was the man that was known by everyone for killing 13 muggles and to an elite few as the one that betrayed the Potters. How was she supposed to ignore the biggest elephant in any room ever when it was the Sirius Black. He had aged so much since the last time she had seen him.

Myrna herself was drawing a bit of her own attention herself. This was her first time to be invited to an Order meeting. The fact that she was here meant that she was trusted by Dumbledore but she had shown up with Severus Snape. She kicked herself mentally for such a stupid mistake. As if being herself wasn't enough for them not to trust her. Sirius looked over at her and glanced away. Something in Myrna broke as she realized that he didn't even recognize her.

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce to you Miss Myrna Rosier," Albus' blue eyes twinkled behind his half moon spectacles and his hand indicated to Myrna.

A growl came somewhere from in the room, and Myrna found the cause and sighed inwardly. _This was why I didn't want to do this._ "Yes?" Myrna asked expecting, not tolerating Mr. Moody's rudeness one bit. At least that's what Albus said to do.

"Rosier?" he asked eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" She asked in a tone that spoke of a challenge. "That's my name. Has been since birth."

"Sir!" A voice rang out towards Albus. "You can't be serious! Why is _she_ here, in _my_ house?" Indicating to Myrna. "I will not have that fowl Slytherin trusted here. She's the most—

"Please," Myrna interrupted, "Save the description Black, or I feel this will turn into a flattery contest."

"I assume everyone here would like to hear my reasoning on inviting Miss Rosier to the Order?" Albus asked lightly, but nobody had to strain to listen. A gift only Albus had. "Myrna is going to be working with the Order. She shall be treated as such." Then he gave a hard look to Sirius Black, the last of the Blacks and now the sole owner of the house, "Secondly, you, Sirius, gave your house willingly as a headquarters for the Order and that is why she is here in your house. Now on the topic of Miss Rosier, she will be running-" he chuckled at the thought "-errands for the Order among other things. She's not a medi-witch, but she has had much training in the field even though she was never able to complete it. She's very gifted in charms and wand magic. She's very useful to the Order in this, as she will be an emergency responder. She will be offering any help that she can give the Order on a full time basis as her normal life has been turned upside down." Albus took a heavy breath. "Myrna is in danger from Voldemort, who would like to recruit her. She has successfully avoided being caught so far to even be asked. Voldemort does not yet suspect that she is a part of the Order, and it would be a tragedy for that information to leak out."

"He wants her? Why" Moody growled although he left no one wondering that what he already believed.

Albus started to speak but Myrna caught him first, "Albus," she said softly and all heads turned toward witch in the corner, "Please, I'll answer their questions." Then she added quickly, "Within reason, of course. And Mad-Eye I believe deserves to know more than anyone else."

Albus nodded, "Voldemort wants her since her father died. In fact he wanted her during the first war, before Donovan Rosier died. Donovan had always been a very useful follower since Voldemort was at Hogwarts, and I'm sure he would love to replace him with the next generation of Rosier's. Also a daughter of the family of McGonagall's would entice him as well, which he never had been successful in that area. But naturally, it would just be nice to have Myrna as a servant to him, regardless of her parentage." Moody had started to ask another question, but Albus said, "Now, I see no reason to terry any longer from our meeting agenda, Remus?"

Myrna glanced at the man named Remus, whom she had not seen since her fifth year at Hogwarts when he graduated. Myrna watched everyone in the room, and they watched her. They were intrigued by her dark haughty look and her last name. Only a few knew her and even less liked her. She recognized some from the ministry. A great number of them were Aurors, and then there was Arthur Weasley and his wife. She always liked Arthur even though he never took much liking to her. She had the distinct feeling that Moody's magical eye was aimed at her the entire meeting. Myrna started listening to the meeting and found they had already moved on to her traveling companion, Severus Snape. Severus divulged his latest gatherings, and Albus made his assumptions on the situation.

"I believe Harry has spent long enough with his Aunt and Uncle, and I wish for an advanced guard to retrieve him safely. From the information at the moment we know that Voldemort is after something. What right now, we do not know. At the present time I do not wish to think what extent Voldemort will go to get his hands on the boy." Albus paused, "I would like for the guard to be, if you would agree to it, Alastor, Kingsley, Remus, and Nyphadora."

"Of course," Nyphadora Tonks said smiling, her hair bright neon pink and the rest of the advanced guard echoed her response.

"All is in order then," Albus said before pausing, "Sirius, might I have a word with you after this?"

And everyone quickly knew that they were dismissed. Severus made his leave escaping the house.

Myrna went over to Arthur who was talking to his wife and three of their son. Molly gave her a curt smile and Myrna returned it. She knew right away that Molly Weasley didn't like the idea of her being in the Order. "Hi, Arthur," Myrna said pleasantly extending her hand to him, "How are you? How's the department?"

"Good, Good," Arthur said, and then indicated to his left and right introducing his family, "This is my wife Molly, my son Bill."

"Pleasure," she replied shaking their hands in turn, "and I suppose the younger ones were the ones that were trying to listen to the meeting from the staircase?"

Molly's face started to turn a shade of red before she said, "Excuse me," and she made her way from the kitchen.

"You shouldn't have done that," Bill laughed, "Fred, George, Ron and Ginny are going to be in trouble for the rest of the summer."

"Sorry," Myrna smiled apologetically to Arthur. But he waived his hand in the air as if it were nothing.

"If it wasn't this," he said, "then she would have gotten them for something else. I haven't seen you at the ministry lately."

"I've been a bit indisposed and out of work," Myrna replied.

"You work with the Ministry?" Bill asked.

She smiled, "No. Not even so glamorous as that. I work for a temp agency so I tend to find myself at the Ministry quite often. You're father being one of the friendlier faces around. He talks about all of you on a constant basis."

She could tell what she said had embarrassed Arthur but she couldn't help but share what she knew, "So I'm going to take a punch in the dark and say that you're the curse breaker in the family?"

Bill smiled back and then looked approvingly back at his father, "I guess you do talk about us don't you dad?"

"Well of course I do, what's not to brag about?" Bill laughed at his father. Myrna knew the only reason Arthur talked about his son's so often was because he was always trying to get her to allow him to introduce her to one of his sons. Arthur went on to say, "I'm supprizes you don't already know each other, I assume you went to Hogwarts around the same time."

This was Myrna's turn to laugh, "I'm afraid not, Arthur. I believe I graduated a few years before the first of your children started attending.

"No!" Arthur said, "Surely you're no more than a few years older than my son Bill here."

"I'm afraid so. I'm actually a couple of years younger than Sirius, Remus, and Severus."

Myrna noticed that Dumbledore was beckoning her over so she made her goodbye's to Arthur and Bill and walked slowly towards Albus and Sirius as everyone moved away.

_Here comes the big one_, she thought.

"Sirius," Albus began, while Myrna drew close. "Myrna here," he extended his hand bringing her in close, touching her should lightly but in a familiar manner, "Will be staying here for an uncertain amount of time. She's here to help you and to help others. You've already had a small brief on what she will be doing here, but she still is on a bit of a restriction on how much time she's allowed to spend away from here. She, in her own way, is in as much danger as you, except she doesn't have the ministry after her." He looked between Sirius and Myrna, a sly smile on his face, "You two shall watch each other as to prevent the other from leaving here, unless it's on Order business."

Sirius looked over at Myrna with a dirty look. Myrna looked a bit smug, because she was right in a way, that when she told Serverus she was here to be watched by Sirius and visa versa. Albus caught her look and added, "But have no misunderstanding though, that neither of you out ranks the other and shall not issue orders to each other. You both report directly to me, and in my absence, Minerva."

"Like that's fair," Sirius said in an undertone.

"Would you question that Minerva would ever care less about your wellbeing?" Albus asked of Sirius. "You of all people should know better than that."

Sirius nodded numbly before leaving knowing there was nothing else to say. After his departure Albus said, "Maybe if you would make more known about yourself, people would receive you better."

"You're the one that said that I shouldn't tell everyone exactly why I should be trusted," Myrna retorted.

"When I say people, I am only meaning Sirius. If you would just—

"There's no good, sir," Myrna said bitterly, "Sirius Black will always hate me, just as he will always hate his brother and the rest of his family."

"Well at the very least, talk to him long enough to get him to show you a spare room," he smirked.

"Oh, I will," Myrna said playfully then smiled and said politely, "Good night Professor."

"I'll have none of that," Albus said sternly but smiling and pulled Myrna into a tight hug, her head barely reaching his chest. He pulled her back and looked into her face, "You stay out of mischief as well. Don't feed in to Sirius' bad temper but don't indulge his behavior either."

A knowing but playful smile came over Myrnas face, "_Never_."

Albus touched his finger to his nose catching her playful sarcasm and winked on his way out.

* * *

Myrna found herself sitting in the kitchen with a hot tea and her thoughts to keep her company. She was slightly startled by the sudden presence of another in the room. Mrs. Weasley was in her night gown and also looked a bit startled to see Myrna in the kitchen.

"Still up, dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley a bit quizzically.

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley," Myrna looked at her tea and politely said, "I have a whole pot made up if you'd like a cup."

Mrs. Weasley eyed the pot and then seemed to give in as she took a seat across her Myrna. "Please," then she said in explanation, "So hard to sleep these nights, it seems."

Myrna nodded in agreement, "I know what you mean, but forgive me for saying but you seem to have a lot more reasons than I do to lose sleep. They seem like a very nosey group indeed," Myrna smiled and indicated to the staircase that she had seen her children on earlier.

Mrs. Weasley smiled warmly, "Yes, and not for their own good either." Mrs. Weasley paused then added, "Do you have children of your own?"

Myran looked at her tea cup, and gave a short, "No."

"Hmm, have you been fitted with a guest room yet?" Mrs. Weasley asked changing the subject.

"No," said Myrna but then she laughed, "I haven't the heart to bother Mr. Black with room arrangements after he walked off in a half rage after learning the full details of my stay."

Mrs. Weasley chuckled too, "Sirius is still such a boy at times. But I'm sure he'll recover from his prejudices once he wise's up. Albus wouldn't ask you to stay here without having a high degree of trust in you."

"Thank you. Not many have come to that conclusion yet. I'm glad that you trust Albus, but 's mind will not change on that account. He still distrusts Severus." She added as an example.

"Well there's dislike for each other that runs deeply, and Sirius isn't known for rationalism and maturity. I doubt Sirius will ever let that one go."

"He'd let that go before he ever forgave me. I'll never be forgiven for being his brother's friend."

Both women sat sipping tea, in an awkward silence, wanting to talk more but not knowing how to start a subject. Myrna poured herself another cup of tea and slowly added her sugar. She broke the silence first wanting to get something off her chest to a mother of seven sitting across from her.

"Mrs. Weasley, I don't wish to cause you worry or stress about my stay here. My mother was very protective of me and I know what it must mean to you to have me here under the same roof as your children."

Mrs. Weasley coughed a bit awkwardly looking at her tea, but continued to listen.

"Which is why," Myrna continued, "that I want you to know you have no reason to worry. Yes my father was Donovan Rosier, and yes I was a Slytherin, and yes some of my friends from my time at Hogwarts later served Voldemort."

Mrs. Weasley twitched slightly at the mention of the name, "But I want you to know that I have never known my father, and I was raised by a wonderful mother, and a spectacular god-father."

"-Whom my I ask—

"Most people do not know but my mother is Minerva."

"McGonagall?"

"Yes."

"And your god-father?" Mrs. Weasley tested.

"I cannot say," Myrna said, and she received a disappointed look from Mrs. Weasley. "For my safety it is best if I didn't. Albus has asked me not to." Myrna stood to leave. "Well, I guess I'll go wake the beast so I may find my room. Good night Mrs. Weasley."

"Molly, dear. It's just Molly," then she waved her wand at the tea set and sent them to the wash, "And third door to the right after the washroom."

"Excuse me?" Myrna asked confused.

"Sirius' room is the third door to the right after the washroom."

_I know_, Myrna thought but she merely smiled and said, "Thank you."

Myrna found herself outside of Sirius' door fidgeting, wondering if this was worth her time. She self-consciously fixed her hair and then, with a determined look on her face, knocked on his door. Movement was heard along with a grown, the door cracked and a sleepy aggressive tone said, "What?"

"Mr. Black, I am sorry to disturb you. I know that it is late, but I was wondering if you'd be kind enough to show me to where I'll be staying."

Sirius groaned again, "Now?" he said exasperated opening the door wider to look her in the face.

"Please, Mr. Black, it would be much appreciated." She curtly looked away as he was only in pajama pants. But as she saw, his room was not much different then what she remembered. He still had the same large bed, papers strewn across his desk, and a light glowing fire off to the side. Myrna kept her eyes adverted as best she could while he went to the end of his bed to grab a shirt, but she noticed the bottle of fire whiskey and a potion bottle sitting on a night stand.

"Really Myrna," Sirius said, "I have no idea why you keep calling me 'Mr. Black.' I'm sure we know each other enough for you to call me Sirius."

Still facing the other direction she replied, "I was under the impression that familiarity passed the moment you were blasted from the family. Oh and that very memorable row you had the last time you saw your brother in which you had a whole range of _nicknames_ for me."

Sirius carried a lit candle leading her to her room, "Yes, well I'd like to forget that day but thank you _Rosier_ for reminding me."

"Back to the last name again then?" Myrna asked.

"Yes, but please drop the 'Mr.', Mr. Black was my father," he said half joking.

"Funny," Myrna said truthfully, "He was always just 'Orion' to me."

"Again things I don't want to remember," Sirius said irritated, "_But thanks_."

Myrna finally realized which door Sirius had led her to. A rueful smile played on his lips.

"Madam Rosier, here is your room," Sirius said waiving his army grandly in front of the door.

"Sirius, please don't. There are things I don't wish to remember as well. I don't want to stay in his old room. It would be too painful. Could I please have the room I used to use when I'd visit?" she said in a pleading tone.

Sirius looked at her almost mad. "Painful? How can your memory of him have been painful? My brother never did anything to you, which I can't say about all of the other students he was such an ass to."

"Oh please," Myrna said, her anger flaring at his hypocrisy. "You were worse them him with your little gang. I don't want to hear it."

"None of us were _Death Eaters_!" Sirius growled, "And one of us died bravely by Voldemort's hand, if you will remember. _I _spent thirteen years in Azkaban blamed for his death. Don't you dare put me and my friends in the same league as my brother."

"Oh Sirius, you're so blind. You _did_ have a Death Eater in your little gang or did you try and forget Peter too? Don't be so high and mighty. You know nothing about your brother! What he did, he did—

"Regulus was a fowl excuse for a brother! He was a coward. All he wanted was our parents' approval. He joined Voldemort the first chance he could. He was a bigot pure blood that cared nothing for anybody other than himself. Don't tell me I didn't know my own brother! I knew him better than most!

Sirius and Myrna glared at each other trying to catch their breath. Then Sirius started to reach for his wand but realized he didn't have it on him. But Myrna had wasted no time in her reaction and drew her wand fast.

"Oh get off it," Sirius said still angry. "I was just going to open the door. You can do it yourself." He started to leave.

"I told you I don't want to stay in this room," Myrna said leveling with him in the hallway.

Sirius smirked, "Then leave." And he left her and walked towards his own room.

So Myrna waved her wand at the door unlocking it. She stood in the threshold not only to Regulus' room but to a piece of her childhood, to her past, and a large part of her heart.

* * *

**A/N** I've written a couple chapters of this story so far, and let me know if the story seems intersting to continue, and do have a full plot just so you know. Thanks for reading my story!


	2. The Necklace

**Swing Life Away**

**Chapter 2  
"The Necklace"**

Myrna found comfort in Severus' presence during the next order meeting. She and Sirius had avoided each other for the last two weeks after their row. She wanted to punch the insolent boy in the face but she didn't want to lower herself to his immaturity. So she tasked herself to help Molly around the house and running errands for the Order. She had been delivering messages and what not. Thankfully, nobody had been injured in the last few weeks so she hadn't had to deal with that yet. With the excitement of Harry Potter arriving at the Order and Dumbledore coming to the meeting the kitchen was bustling with people. Even with #12 being so full of people she felt so deprived of human contact. She had hoped her mother would be here at this meeting but was let down when Dumbledore arrived and informed her she would be hand delivering a message to her. A whole month until school started and Dumbledore had already taken quite a few precautions for when the school reopened in September. She happily settled with the company of Severus instead even though she already knew he would show up last and would be the first to leave, but she would savor it.

"That bad?" Severus asked smirking.

"You have no idea," Myrna said almost angrily, "I'm not the type to play house. I've been avoiding Black and boredom by helping Molly around the house. When Albus said I would be a valuable asset I just thought there would be _more_."

Severus seemed to understand, "You feel your skills are being wasted on meaningless task? But Myrna, somebody has to do it, these things are required for operation of the Order. You may have abundant idle time on your hands, but what's going to happen when someone gets hurt and we can't take them to St. Mungo's for the risk of too many questions?" Severus shifted weight standing next to Myrna to turn to look at her, "Besides, nobody could be seen coming and going from my house without suspicion. You should be able to take a little pride that you have a little bit of trust on both sides."

Myrna sighed, "But the downside to that is that I always have so much distrust on both sides too. When I was in school so many Slytherins distrusted me, and now so many of the Order distrust me too. I can't seem to win with anybody." But then Myrna said sounding a bit guilty, "I just feel like I could be so much more useful. I could be a spy like you, or be a guard or something…"

"You know Albus would never allow that," Severus said scoffing at the thought. "He would lock you up and throw away the key before he allowed you to spy on the Dark Lord— "

"—But I'm a very good Occumelence— "

"It doesn't matter Myrna," Severus sighed, "He wouldn't risk your safety for the benefit of the Order. And you're not as good at it as you think you are," he said smirking down at her.

"Well I'm tougher than he thinks," Myrna said slightly annoyed.

"Believe me," he said reassuringly, "Albus does not underestimate you one bit, but he cares too much about you and wants to protect you at all cost. Just between you and me," he began to whisper, "I think that's why he moved you here, to be safer."

"Oh," Myrna said throwing out what he said as if it were nothing, "I knew the second he asked me to come here to the Order that he wanted a tighter leash." Then she smirked at Severus, "So I was right, Albus told me last meeting that I'm to watch Black, but then he turned around and told Black that he was to watch me too. He thinks he's so clever," she said referring to Albus, "He knows we won't let each other get away with anything. I can't even sneak out of here for a moment of peace."

Myrna watched everyone talking pleasantly with Harry. She saw him look at her a few times. She knew he was probably wondering who the strange woman was that was actually having a decent conversation with Severus. Harry was going to start Occumelency lessons with Severus this year, and with the way he talked about Harry she felt some pity for the young man. She never wanted to be on the receiving end of Severus' wrath. The only thing Harry ever did wrong was to be born to the woman Severus loved and the man that he hated above all others.

"I have to deliver a message to my mother later for the Order, would you like to go for and ice cream or something?" Myrna asked.

All Severus did was raise an eyebrow.

"Thought not," Myrna smiled, "You never do."

After the meeting Myrna waited outside while Albus broke the news to Harry and Sirius about the new lessons with 'Professor Snape.' Severus and Sirius immediately started getting into it as Myrna had predicted. Myrna walked into the kitchen, gave Severus a stern look to tell him to cut it out, and then reached out for Sirius' arm. He jerked himself from her as if stung. He was already angry with Albus and Severus and the look on his face said that her presence was not welcomed.

"Don't touch me!" he growled through clenched teeth.

Myrna stood steady after he reaction but retorted, "Oh grow up Black. I'm not going to give you coodies. Albus," she turned to the old man, "I would be willing to offer my services, so that Harry wouldn't have to undergo lessons with Severus."

"I would rather— " Sirius started almost in a snarl but was interrupted by Albus.

"As wonderful as it may sound to all of us, Sirius, please do share what you were about to say," Albus said calmly yet firm, raising he hand to call for peace. "Harry will go to the lesson with Professor Snape. Thank you Myrna," he said. After the look on her face he added, "But you are needed more here than at Hogwarts."

"Sirius, I had hoped you would be friendlier towards Myrna since my last visit, but…" he waived his hand between the two as if indicating there was something invisible between them. "I don't think Minerva would be too happy to find out you were so prejudiced against her daughter."

"We all know that not all children turn out like their parents. Me being a perfect example," Sirius said defensively.

"That's great Black," Myrna said sarcastically, "Good thing I'm not like my father or you would have already died a very painful death."

"Don't be stupid, we both know you never knew your father," Sirius said, "You were too busy over here with Regulus over watched by my parents to have any lasting influence from McGonagall."

"Don't you dare think for a second you know anything about me!" Myrna said aggressively, but more so than she had meant to. Her emotions had gotten the better of her. Instead of taking it personal and telling Sirius exactly what she would wanted to, her face went passive and she put her hands behind her back to prevent herself from cursing him. Everyone could still tell she was fuming but holding back.

"Oh, some _emotion_. That's new for you," Sirius snarled sarcastically, goading her.

Finally Harry spoke up, "Sirius, it's all right."

"No it's bloody well not—"

"Thank you Harry," Albus said looking at him over his glasses, "I believe it's time for me to go," indicating the discussion was over. "Sirius, may I have a word?"

"Yes, Sir," Sirius said walking away with Albus.

Myrna put her hands on Harry's shoulder, "Don't worry so much, Harry," after seeing the look on his face.

"I'm not worried about the lessons," Harry said eyeing Severus, "I can handle it."

"No, Harry," Myrna corrected, "I'm sure you could handle most anything. Don't worry so much about Sirius. He's a grown man and you're just a teenage boy. You should be worrying about homework, quidditch, and girls." She smirked at him.

"Yeah, well," Harry said heavily, "I don't have a choice. Somebody has to look out for him."

Myrna laughed while Severus groaned, "He's supposed to look out for you, Harry. And it looks like he's doing a good job. I wouldn't want you to take lessons with Severus either," she joked.

"Good night Myrna," Severus said, "And don't forget to see your mother," and Severus left the kitchen.

"Night," Myrna called knowing he was slightly agitated.

"So Professor McGonagall is your mom?" Harry said in awe.

"Yes," Myrna answered amused. People were always so surprised even though she knew she looked just like her mother. Black hair and a plain face, and thin lips. The only real difference was that she didn't wear glasses and she always had her hair down, unlike her mother's always immaculate tight bun.

"Weird," Harry laughed, "So then why don't you and Sirius get along? He was complaining about you, but for no real good reason that I could tell."

Myrna sized Harry up and then said, "Some things are so painful it's hard to talk about. And having me here is just a bad reminder."

"Of what?" Harry asked sincerely concerned.

"Of his brother, his childhood. He didn't have a good one, and I don't blame him to be bitter on my account," Myrna said sadly but with a twinge of guilt.

Harry still looked a bit confused, "But what did you do?" he asked perplexed.

"I was simply here, Harry. Other than that I have no idea," Myrna said. "I was friends with his brother. My only friend really, and his parents loved me. They fully expected me and Regulus to marry and carry on the Black name and legacy. And we were just kids. It was as if Sirius was out and I was in. Regardless if Sirius loved his family or not, I will feel horrible for the rest of my life and I don't blame Sirius for hating me."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, "that it has to be like that. I feel bad for Sirius and you."

"Thank you dear, that's very sweet of you," Myrna looked at Harry as if seeing him for the first time, "It seems you inherited your mothers—"

"Eyes," Harry finished like he heard it all the time.

"No Harry," Myrna corrected, "I was going to say her heart. She had a big one."

Harry looked a bit taken aback. "You knew my mother?"

Myrna shook her head, "She was a few years above me in school, and being friends with Regulus I wasn't exactly close to anyone in Gryffindor. But your mother had a huge heart, defender of those that couldn't defend themselves. She was a very loyal person as well. Nobody ever crossed Lily when it came to those she loved. You could always count on that." Myrna looked at her watch, "I have to go see my mother, but I'll be back later. Goodnight, Harry."

"You're staying here?" Harry asked as she was at the door.

"Yes," Myrna answered, "See you around, Harry," she winked.

Harry watched as the older witch threw her cloak over her shoulders and walked out of the kitchen.

"So," Dumbledore said looking at Sirius, slight disappointment etched on his face. "You thought better of my earlier suggestion and gift?"

Sirius looked down at his feet, a grown man that still felt like a foolish child in front of his old headmaster. "Sir, I know you wouldn't have given it to me if it wasn't important for me to follow your instructions. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't care."

Sirius looked his old headmaster determinedly in the face, "I'm sorry sir. But I don't want some false sense of happiness or comfort. If I'm to be happy, I want it to be _real_," he finished, his words spoken from his heart.

"Sirius," Dumbledore said placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "The necklace I gave you doesn't _make_ you happy. And believe me I'm not trying to do this to pacify you because of your depressive nature. I would never try and cover up a problem just so people wouldn't have to deal with it. I want you to deal with your ghost. That's the only way you will see improvement."

Dumbledore eyes, Sirius noticed, glistened a bit and Sirius quickly looked away, "I hate to see you in so much pain and turmoil, Sirius. The only time I see life in those blue eyes are when you are with Harry. I regret that you are not afforded the occasion to spend more time with him. The charm on the necklace only opens your eyes to opportunities. You still have to _want_ to be happy to be happy."

Sirius started slowly and softly, "I'll do it. For you, Dumbledore, but mostly for Harry. I see him always worried about me," he sighed as if giving up a fight he had been holding, "I really need to get better, but I have so many ghost to face."

"Harry has a lot to face yet still," Dumbledore said, "And he's been through so much already. He's a remarkably resilient young man," he said smiling, "I hate to think that soon that his innocence will be taken when it comes to face the troubled times ahead, but I have a feeling that his heart will always have a certain sense of innocence to it no matter what happens."

"That's why I need to get better. So I can help him too. He doesn't need a depressed God-father in his life," he said sadly.

"No," Dumbledore said, "You do this for yourself Sirius. Harry needs whatever God-father you can give him. He will always accept you. I only mentioned Harry to show you it's possible to face your ghost and still be happy. Just remember, wherever there is hope and love there can be happiness. You'll know what I'm talking about soon enough. When you see it, it'll be that light at the end of that long dark tunnel you're in. And then Sirius, all you have to do is move towards it."

* * *

Sirius was alone in the common room. Knowing what Dumbledore said was true he made his way to his bedroom into the top drawer of his desk. He pulled out a pouch and returned to the low crackling fire of the common room. He pulled out some fire whiskey and poured himself a drink. He wanted to drink away his sorrow and nightmares until they were just faint whispers to his floating mind. But he couldn't bring his glass to his lips. Dumbledore's words echoed through his mind. He pulled out the small pouch from his robes. He let the contents fall into his palm. He held the dainty necklace up to the fire light, the sapphire glowing. Dumbledore said the necklace was different for everybody. For him it was a tear shaped sapphire hanging by the tip from a beautifully silver piece that connected it to the chain. The necklace in itself was probably expensive but he knew it was priceless. He could feel the strong magic within the sapphire. The chain was cold and beautiful and intertwined in his fingers hanging from his hand. Slowly, he placed the chain around his neck and slipped the sapphire under his shirt tucking it in carefully.

He looked at his whiskey and pulled out his wand performing a vanishing spell on the contents knowing that was the last of it. His hair hung in his face while he smiled ruefully thinking of the necklace and Dumbledore's plans. He had said it would open opportunities for him but Sirius knew that there were not opportunities to be had here in Number 12 Grimmauld Place. He knew he would try anyway for Dumbledore's sake. He was alone as usual, but thought he's rather be more comfortable being alone in his room. He started to get up when he felt someone in the doorway watching him.

"Drinking again?" She noticed the empty bottle and glass.

"Not now, Myrna," Sirius said not in the mood to put up a decent fight.

"Sirius," she said slowly. He looked at her realizing he had used her first name too. "Can I talk to you?" She asked. Her voice was not teasing, angry, or annoyed, Sirius noticed, but a bit sad.

Sirius raised his eyebrows in interest and before he could stop his mouth from moving he asked, "What's wrong?"

He slightly groaned and laid his head back on the arm chair. _Never ever_, he thought, _ask a woman 'what's wrong.'_

Myrna walked into the common room taking his question as permission. She stood in front of him, blocking his view of the fire. Her hair looked odd with the light behind it. Her black locks, which reminded him so much of McGonagall, were glowing red with the fire. She knelt beside his chair looking down at her hands. A few moments passed as he waited for her to say something.

When it was evident from her nervous picking that she wasn't going to be forthcoming he said, "If you can't say it, I'm not going to wait all night. I'd really like to go to bed."

"No," Myrna said grabbing his arm on the chair as if to stop him. She let go quickly remembering his earlier reaction to her. "It's just," she looked at the fire, light dancing across the room, "This isn't easy for me. Lots of pride issues to get through and all." She smiled at Sirius.

He leaned forward in his chair, "Then what is this about?" He looked at her, his brow furrowed, waiting.

"Well," Myrna said nervously. Looking at his eyes, "It's about you and me," she saw him lean back and his face go to stone. It was then she conceded defeat. If she didn't get it out now, then she was never going to get him to listen to her. She started rambling.

"I just wish everything could be different. Looking back I never thought our lives would end up this way. It never crossed my mind that Regulus would be gone. Or that you and him wouldn't have that chance to make things right. That's all Regulus ever wanted. And now everything's so messed up, and it can't be fixed. I wish he never died," she choked, trying to get out her words before her tears over powered what she had to say, "I wish that I had married him when I had the chance. I should have never turned my back on him. I wish you had known him better, and that things weren't like this. None of this should have ever happened. You should have never spent those years in Azkaban. I never doubted you, Sirius. When I see you, I wish for so much. I hate to see you so angry and sad. And the fact that I make you that way sometimes just makes it so much worse. I don't want to inflict pain on you. You have no idea how much you meant to Regulus. How much you meant to me. How much hope you gave the two of us. You were always so bright. You were brighter than the rest of us even when you had every reason to be the one unhappy. We were jealous of you. It kills me to see you this way. I don't want you to be the same bitter person that Regulus turned into!" Her tears were freely flowing down from her small eyes. "He didn't have anyone on his side in the end. He went it alone, but you don't have to."

Sirius looked at her in disgust and she wiped her face quickly. He could tell she was shocked she had said so much. He reached out and grasped her shoulder, "Regulus was jealous of me? He wanted to make things better?"

"Yes," She looked down, "Yes, the way you were so brave and always standing up to your parents. He never could. You always had such easy friendships. You and James were so loyal to each other practically like family. All of it. Regulus was bitter and he felt stuck with his parents. He hated you for leaving. He envied everything about you," she hiccupped softly.

Sirius didn't know whether to believe her or not. He said to her softly, almost in a whisper, as if it wasn't supposed to be said, "I heard- " he faltered, "Were you with him- my brother- when he—"

He looked away not able to finish at the look of pain on Myrna's face. She nodded towards him understanding what he could not say.

"So you saw him die?" Sirius said torn in side by the state of the woman crying softly in front of him.

Myrna's face popped up, "I saw him murdered," she said it with force.

Myrna took a very deep breath, holding back her tears before she exhaled slowly. "I hadn't seen him in months." Then she corrected herself, "I had _refused_ to see him for months. He came to me that day for help. He didn't mean to- I was so scared that day." Sirius saw the turmoil on her face, "I can't talk about that day, Sirius, it's too much."

Sirius was angry, "I need to know Myrna!" He started to shake her shoulders, "Tell me," he demanded.

"I can't!" she cried.

"You can't just tell me all this and not follow it up with something. Anything," Sirius eyes pleaded with her. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if he had abandoned his little brother when he should have held on for just a little longer.

"I can't, Sirius, those memories have been locked away for a long time now."

Sirius let her go. He realized he still had a tight grip on her shoulders. He looked at her calmly.

"Show me."

* * *

**A/N** Thanks for the faves&alerts, but most importantly thanks for the review from avalon64!

and reply to my review, Yeah, this is kind of a side story to my _Secretly in Love_ story. I've have plot bunnies for about 8 more. Different premise for each one but same canon. I've had Myrna in my head for a while. She's had a lot of names, but she always came out as the same person. She's been dying for everyone to meet her. So let me know what you think about her. Just please tell me she doesn't come across as a Mary Sue because she's so much more than that to me!


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